hurting yourself really the answer?).
Have you noticed sometimes how this world
seems to throw thing at us, and then more things and then more until
we feel we can't deal with anymore and the only way out seems to
be self harm? I know what it's like to lie awake at night, staring
at the ceiling and feeling as though every bad thing that had ever
been said about me was true. I know what it's like to look at a
razor or a knife and feel as though if I could make the outside
of my body look as bad as the inside felt, then the pain inside,
wouldn't be so horrific.
Those of you who cut yourselves or harm yourselves
in other ways know that cutting does bring some relief. But,
if you'll notice, the relief that harming ourselves give us is only
temporary. It's not permanent relief and it's permanent relief that
we deserve, not relief that's only fleeting!
Besides, if cutting really was the 'cure',
if it was really the way out of the pain, then why doesn't it make
us feel proud of ourselves? Why are we unhappy with the decision
to cut? Why does cutting bring tears and not a smile? If cutting
were really the way out, were really the answer, I'd think we'd
be proud of ourselves for being ingenious enough to learn to cut.
But it doesn't. Because, deep down inside of us, we don't really
want to harm the bodies that we've been given, and cutting
ourselves is only a last resort because we don't know that there
are other ways to feel better, to get out of the pain.
We don't know that, but there are other
ways, namely conversation. Telling others about how we feel and
why we cut is probably the most difficult and yet the bravest thing
we can do. For many, it's the very first thing they've ever done
for themselves. In addition to telling others how we feel, even
if we have to write it to them in a letter, we all have a unique
and special talent that we can resort to whenever we feel the need
to cut. My talent is writing, so whenever I feel the need to cut,
I pull out a pen instead and start writing. It helps take my mind
away from the bad things that are going on in my life.
But above all else, it's essential that
we all remember how precious our lives are. Your life is
unique and it's like a tiny gem: it's value is immeasurable and
not only that but you have a unique purpose for your life that you
alone can accomplish and if you help yourself out of the depression,
out of the pain, then you'll be able to concentrate on discovering
and accomplishing your life's goal. God made you. He does not make
mistakes, ever. That means that you're not one either, and never
have you been one, regardless of what anyone has led you to believe.
I hope one day everyone who cuts will be able
to look at themselves in the mirror and say, "I deserve more than
pain and I'm strong enough to ask for help" because even if sometimes
it takes a little time, if you ask for help, you will receive
it. Life is too precious, and comes around only once, for us to
never experience all the joy it has to offer.