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Sex & Marriage
(or: Why not to go with the flow).

In today's society, sex is predominant, and a large proportion of the population believe it's OK to have sex with who you like as long as you love them and nothing goes wrong. However, there are those who think that you should only have sex when you're married and only with the person you are married to. This article has been written to explain why we at CenterWeb take the second view: we aren't crazy or not do it just because we're religious, we have some good reasons for it.

When man first came into being, he was able to have sex. It wasn't there just for the survival of the human race, but also as an intimate activity between husband and wife. We're not saying sex is a bad thing, far from it, but we want you to know why we think it's wrong if it's outside of marriage.

Here are some of the reasons why:

  • Sex is something very intimate, you and your partner "become one" it says in the Bible, and to a great extent, that's true. Sex strengthens a relationship because the couple shows their love for each other in the intimacy of it. However, if a person goes around having sex with various partners, all it does is result in feelings of hurt, as your partner wants to be the only one you love. Therefore, if sex happens outside of marriage, even if it's with one partner, it isn't a good idea. Why? Because when you aren't married, there are even less problems about getting separated again. Single parent families can result if, after a few years, one partner just decides to go, as there is nothing holding them back.
  • If someone has sex with various people, the risk of them catching a sexually transmitted disease such as AIDS is high, as it is quite likely that the people they are having sex with also have various partners. This then means that sex with just anyone isn't a good idea, even if you do use contraception: nothing is 100% reliable. Do you want to risk that?
  • When you get married, it's great to be able to have kept your virginity for your partner until then. Marriage signifies that you are committed to each other for life, and one of the benefits of it is sex. If people have sex out of marriage, a girl can "accidentally" get pregnant and there then follows an abortion or a baby that is unwanted. When two people get married, if they have kids they will be its parents, whereas the baby as a result from a one night stand may only have one parent or be put up for adoption: think about how bad that is for the kid psychologically!
  • As society keeps pushing sex to lower and lower ages, the dangers increase. How do you think that a 12-year-old girl is going to cope with her own baby? Is she going to be responsible enough to know what to do for it? Also, the younger a girl is, the smaller she is, and the more difficult here pregnancy will be. If sex continues to be commonplace outside of marriage, then of course it will spread further down from just people in their late teens: it's happening already. In the Bible it says that we should only have sex within marriage. This is for the reasons above, but in itself is another one why we should keep sex for our husband or wife.
  • If you love someone enough to want to have sex with them, then you love them enough to want to marry them and spend the rest of your life with them. If you just want the sex, then be honest with yourself and them: it's not love, it's lust.

It is not cool to have sex as early as possible, whatever anyone says. You only need to look around to see how many teenage pregnancies there are: nobody can say that this is a good thing. It is you choice as to whether you have sex before you marry. Consider what you've read here, and make your decision: it's no-one else's business to make it for you, decide for yourself and then don't let yourself be pressured into thinking otherwise. Pray about it to God, because he will help you. Talk to Him about how you feel, and find someone who you can talk to about it if you're unsure. If you don't really know much about God, or don't think he exists, take a look at this page, which explains a little more about who God is. If you have any comments or thoughts on the subject, please e-mail us here at CenterWeb. Remember, just because everybody's doing it, doesn't mean you have to.

An article that you may also be interested in is
Touching: what's too far?