of the Sexes
Touching: how far is too far?)
lot of the time people
get to know others of the opposite sex, and they don't seem to realise
that they have different ways of thinking, different interpretations
of an action, different emotional tendencies, and so on. Before
I go any further, I will say that this is not meant in any way as
a sexist article, but simply an honest portrayal of what I've seen
and learnt. Both sexes have their good and bad points, as you'll
see later on!
tend to regarded by society as the strong, "macho", unfeeling element
of a couple. In a sense, they are. Guys tend to be physically stronger
than girls, and "tough". However, underneath the hard exterior is
quite an emotional person too. Guys do have feelings, strong ones,
but they don't show them outwardly as much as girls. If you (girls
this is!), get to know a guy very well, you'll probably be surprised
to find that he is a lot more emotional than you might think! Meanwhile,
girls tend to have the image of being fragile and outwardly very
emotional. Women do show their feelings much more, but that doesn't
mean that they're any less strong emotionally. Girls are physically
more fragile, but they are generally pretty strong too!
guys think about sex a lot more than you do, (this is in case you
hadn't noticed already!). This isn't weird or obsessive, just a
natural tendency of the male sex. Consequently, anything that can
be related to sex will be commented on. Girls wearing tight clothing
or miniskirts will tend to get looked at: not because they are necessarily
beautiful, but because they emphasise their body… guys look. When
you, girls, choose your clothing, just remember what guys will be
thinking: it's not "you" they're looking at, but your body. Also,
guys take any kind of touching much more "seriously" than girls
do. If a guy is allowed by a girl to put his arm around her, it
means to him that she likes him, whereas to her it's just being
good friends. I'm not saying this is true in all cases, but as a
general rule, girls, be careful what you let a guy do: don't give
him the wrong signals. If you don't want him to do something, say
so. Don't wait for him to do even more.
girls want to be loved. That doesn't mean sex. Love is about caring
for each other and understanding each other. You can be a girl's
emotional support when she's feeling down, but you can also hurt
her much more easily than you could a guy, physically, but also
emotionally. Don't try to be dominant, (and girls, don't let yourselves
be dominated!), because relationships don't work that way. Don't
expect a girl to conform with the "a woman should be in the kitchen"
attitude, but instead show that you can cook, clean, and so on.
Do things sometimes to show that you'll go out of your way for her…
send her flowers, call her.
is always the question "how far is too far?"… every couple needs
to make their own decisions. At the workplace, people can sue for
sexual harassment for any touching that is above the mid-forearm
(only the arm can be touched). Obviously for a couple it will be
different, but here are some thoughts…
touching below the waist
Guys, no touching girls' chests
No hands underneath clothing, or undoing clothing
No kissing beneath the collarbone
No lying on each other.
couples would say that French kissing (as in with the tongue) is
too far. That's up to each couple to decide. In the end you have
to make up your mind as to when you know you're likely to not feel
"OK" about what you're doing. As a Christian there are no concrete
definitions of what too far is, but you will know in your heart
what is too far for you. Keep within the boundaries you've set as
a couple, because going beyond them you risk having full blown sex,
which is definitely too far before marriage.